GHR Midlands UK
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I picked him up at the traveling show. Is that for real? For real as man’s capacity to dream. It’s an old gorilla skin stretched over a wood frame. – Thank you, my dear. – Wait’ll you see the rest of the guys. – The guys? – Yeah, they’re through here, come on. Where are they? Well, I was trying to tell you, with Matt gone that I’d just decided . Oh! I hate it when you lock them up. It’s not fair. – Honey, you know I do it for their own protection. – I know. Come on. They’re down in the workshop. I’ll introduce you. Locked up by this cruel man. – You have something locked up? – No, no, no. But go on, be prepared for a big surprise. Hi, Pinhead. Oh, did you miss me? Here, let me introduce you to Robert. Is that for real? Yeah, we call this fellow Pinhead. I mean upstairs it’s all just bunkin’, but these are the real marvels. See that mean lookin’ fellow there, we call him Blade. – Don’t shake his hand. – (GRUMBLING) – Fellow next to him is called Six-Shooter. -(GROANING) – And that’s Jester. – (MOANS) – And that lovely lady is Leech Woman. -(SIGHS) – Why “Leech Woman”? – Well, hope that you never find out. (CHUCKLES) And this is Tunneler, aptly named. (SNICKERS) There are no strings. That’s right, Robert. Not on these puppets. So, how do you like your room? – Hmm? Oh, it’s, uh . It’s fine. Thank you, sir. – Good. – Here you go. – Thank you, miss. You know you’re gonna have to start calling me Jane sometime soon. MAGREW: For these blessings that we are about to receive, – Lord, truly make us thankful. – Hmm? Amen. So, (CLEARING THROAT) do they eat? No, son. (CHUCKLES) I don’t understand. I just don’t understand how puppets can live. You know, Robert, I don’t understand how anything be alive. A man, a tree, a fish, but, you know, I guess when the miracle is commonplace enough, people just don’t question it. But, how do you make them? Well, I have a confession to make. I didn’t make them, – I bought them at an auction years ago. -(GROANING) They came in an old trunk and when I took them, well, -they were the same then as they are now. -(SNICKERING) See, I’ve tried to duplicate that process, but I’ve never been able to make a living puppet. I’ve come close. Heaven knows I’ve come close. (CHUCKLING) I can’t say I like the way they’re staring at me. Oh, don’t be fooled by the way they look. They’re really gentle. You know, Robert, when I hired you, I needed help with the show. But I did have another reason in mind. This. You see, I wanna carve a living puppet just like these. And you have a special skill. And I need you to carve me a miracle. Will you help me? Yes, sir, I will. I’ll help. Clear away now. Clear away! Hey, there. Aren’t you that big old boy that works at the gas station? Uh, yes, sir, I was. I started working here. How’d you get mixed up with this old coot? I’m sorry? Heh. Skip it, skip it. Where’s Magrew? Um, I’m not sure, I think he may be in . Don’t you worry. We’ll find him. We’re not gonna get any answers out of this dummy. (CLAPPING) Solid oak, guys, solid oak. Pass it around. (CLAPPING) (GUNSHOTS) (GUNSHOTS) (CROWD APPLAUDING) Fastest six guns in the West, Six-Shooter. Give him a hand, ladies and gentlemen. He’s only a puppet, but he loves applause. (CROWD APPLAUDING) Step right up, ladies and gentlemen. One of the many marvels of The House of Marvels. Take a look at them. – Ooh! – Wow! Take a look at them. One of the many marvels at The House of Marvels. Go ahead, step right up. Take a closer look if you want. Sheriff. Someplace quiet. You wanna take care of things for a while? Why? What’s wrong? Oh, nothing wrong, darling. We ain’t here to arrest nobody. Oh, my. What a nasty looking booger. Well, I guess folks will pay to see just about anything. (GUM SQUISHING) (FAINT GROWLING) SHERIFF: So who all you got living in this place? Um, myself, my daughter and the young boy selling tickets in the booth. He lives here? Yeah, that’s right. That’s my new assistant. What about the other boy? What other boy? What other boy do you think I’m talking about? Oh, Matt Dairy. There you go. Looks like you do all the time. What about him? Well,