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Ok, so how does this work? You stay with us for the whole season. If you back out no piano. And if I fall in love? If you fall in love, the piano is yours, and you can leave whenever you want. But I could always lie to you. Just say that I fell in love. Then I guess I’ll have to trust you. What is it? Some dating app. He said it would be easy. Try clicking this. I can’t. Dinosaurs. It’s only the hottest dating app around. I hope you’re not using it? Of course not. All I do is watch cartoons, I don’t even know what a penis is. Very funny. Better show us how it works. This is an app for searching people. Here’s a list of who “liked” you. A list of who you “liked”. This is the chat. Swipe right to “like”, swipe left to well not. That’s it. That’s it? That’s it. So you click here And there. Oh, look, he has a doggy. No. Move on. This one’s cute. Are you crazy? He looks like a rapist. Move on. This one looks nice. Book publisher Who buys books anymore? Move on. Maybe this one or that one. Wait, go back. Oh no. Dad_? Give me that. It’s Bogdan. Oh God, I knew it. He’s always coming home late. He’s searching for a younger one! I’m sure that’s just a mix up. Are we playing retards now? Ok, so help me pick one. This one? Yeah, he’s great. We have to go. What? Wait Promise me something. Look at me! Promise me you won’t do anything stupid. I promise. Zosia You know, I need to help Ania find the right guy. Could you set up a profile for me? Like a real one, under your name? No, make up a fake name! Krystyna, Halina, something. Krystyna? Halina? In st century? You need something modern, like FlirtyGirl. FlirtyGirl. Great. FlirtyGirl_. Or maybe . I said . Okay, calm down Mikołaj invites to his planet. Accept? Together on the same planet. What can I get you? I’m waiting for someone. Ania? Mikołaj? Yes. How are you doing? I’m very surprised, actually. Why? You’re here. On time. And handsome. Did I say that out loud? Say what out loud? You’re funny! We talked, had a good time. We had a drink, and it was very nice. And then what? Nothing. Each of us went home. Wow. Great! Viewers will drop dead from excitement! Great idea, Marcel! Ania, we really need you to be open with us I’m off to hang myself. Wait, wait. Well, OK. Two vodkas. No, thank you. Just the two vodkas then. Sure you don’t want anything? Maybe a glass of water. He was nice. And sweet. But a little nervous. Much better now. Your profile said you publish books. That’s great, I love reading. Blah, that’s boring. What I really love is football. Two more vodkas. Make them double. Do you like football? Well, I guess Great! He kept ordering vodkas until he had a full football team, so he could explain how offside works. Here are the strikers, here’s the ball So when they pass here it’s the salmon! Avoid the salmon! I’m sorry, but it’s our first date. Aya ya yay, that poor little Hania So young and so pretty Her dates are so ty You feel like throwing up! That’s all for today, ladies and gentlemen. It was an absolute pleasure for me. See you next week! And a double Absolut for me! Would you like anything else?



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