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around with famous authors. Hasn’t got it in him. Graham might become a famous author, for all you know. Becoming one isn’t the same as knowing one. That shows you’re well connected. Very impressive young man, your David. I must admit, life’s a little brighter with him around. Come on, girls, get a move on! What the hell are those? Russian Sobranies. Where did they come from? Well, she probably bought them from the Savoy, or Claridge’s, or the opera or some fancy nightclub. Who knows with Jenny? Paris. You can’t buy them here. You never bought them yourself? No, I never. Oh, shut up, you stuck-up cow. But I’ll bring you some back, if you like. You are joking? Non. He’s taking you to Paris? Oui. This term? Peut-être. Wait. Isn’t it your birthday next Thursday? Might be. Oh, my God. Your birthday? I would not like to be you. Ooh! All those suppers you’ve had off him? Ouch. You’ve such a Victorian attitude to , you two. Your parents wouldn’t let you swan off like that, would they? Well, we haven’t told them yet. But David will come up with some story. He usually does. Yeah, I’ve noticed that. Chanel perfume, Chanel perfume. Chanel lipstick, Chanel lipstick. Those funny cigarettes you were smoking? Sobranies. Ten packets each. Um, how much is the Chanel perfume? Are you the girl going to Paris, or are you not, because… Tina, top button. Jenny, the headmistress wants a word with you. The, um, legend of Mr Rochester may have travelled further than you intended. Come. Ah, Miss Mellor. We’re all very excited about your forthcoming trip to Paris. Our excitement, indeed, knows no bounds. Some of us can talk of little else. An older man, I understand? A word of warning, Miss Mellor. There may well have been the odd sixth-form girl who has lost an important part of herself, perhaps the best part, while under our supervision. These things happen, regrettably. If, however, we are made aware of that loss, then of course the young lady in question would have to continue her studies elsewhere. If, that is, she still has any use for A-levels. Do I make myself clear? Can I go now? If you would. What are you doing in there? Well, I imagine she’s lighting the candles on my cake. You’re , not . Thanks for inviting me. Oh, it was Marjorie’s idea, not mine. Not even Jenny’s, for that matter. Dad! Ta-da! Well, blow them out before the house burns down. Make a… Okay, just… Don’t wait. Bravo. Who’d like a piece? Me, please. Well, come on, come on. Presents. Whoops! It doesn’t matter, I’ll… It’s a new Latin dictionary. Thank you. I needed a new one. Oh, dear! Got a… Snap! Oh, good grief! Jenny, you should see this! It’s a special day. She’s a special girl! I know it. Bit of help! Oh! Makes your dictionary look a bit feeble, eh, Graham? Gosh! And these are for you. Hello, young man. Oh, David! David, would you like a drink? I’d love one. I’d best be going, ’cause I’ve got a stack of homework to do, so… Oh, well… Thank you. Bye. Cheers. Bye, Mr Mellor. Oh, cheerio, Graham. Thank you. Wonderful to see you, Graham. Goodbye, Jenny. Bye, Graham. A little something warming? You know me so well. Can I open anything yet? Wait for me. Before you open that lot, I’ve got a surprise. Next weekend, we’re all going to Café de Flore to celebrate Jenny’s birthday. Oh! Lovely! Café de Flore is in the Boulevard St Germain, in Paris. What do you mean, Paris? You know the one, Dad. No, no. No, no, no. No, we don’t have any French money. And besides, it’s too… Well, I don’t think it would agree with me. Dad! The French don’t like us, Jenny, you know that. John Sutton, from work, he went there last year. They were very rude to him. I don’t want to spoil anyone’s fun, but it’s just not for me, Europe. You’ll have to go another time. You’ve just said you don’t like Europe. So what’s going to change? It’ll have to be Europe, won’t it, because it certainly won’t be you. I’ll take her. To the continent? Why not? And leave me here on my own? Oh, for God’s sake! What do you think? You know what Jenny’s like about France, Jack. French films and books and music. Of course I do. Sorry, yes. It goes without saying. She’s your daughter. Jenny likes to joke about how you’re a stick-in-the-mud and all the rest of it, but I know that’s not who you are. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be who she is. No. But I can also see that I have acted out of turn, and I’m sorry. What about your Aunt Helen? An hour late. We’ll make it. I promise. Okay, there’s a flight at : in the morning. Good. There’s no bed. I pushed the boat out and got us a suite. A suite? Yeah. Well, if work stops us from getting to Paris until tomorrow, then work can buy us a nice hotel room. Anyway, it’s a special occasion, isn’t it? I’d have thought tonight, of all nights, we’d only need a bed. Hold on, one second. I’ve got something. I thought… I thought we might practise with this. With a banana? I thought we might get the messy bit over with first. What? David! I don’t want to lose my virginity to a piece of fruit! I’m sorry. Hey. Oh, I think the moment might have gone. Hey, hey… I think we should wait until Paris. I’m sorry. Um… Minnie,



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