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I doubt that, gather the bugger’s a teetotaller, apart from anything else. Still, one thing, I get my new Cadillac end of september, if I keep it till after this jaunt, they can’t claim that I didn’t make use of it, right? Was that quiet enough for you? Yes, better when there’s no acting. I never thought you’d call. Neither did I. Not at first. Just goes to show. If you want us to meet again. Yes I do. I’ll give you a list of times when Charley’s always out. The visit’s to San Ignacu falls it’s taking place on tuesday the th. It says wednesday in the paper. Of course it does, what do you expect. And they’ll be leaving about , as far as I know. There won’t be more than two cars . There’s the morphine. I’ve given you two shots, just to be on the safe side. But you shouldn’t actually administer more than one, do you understand? Right. Aquino. It’s the last I want to hear about all this. Well, what’s the result? Test is positive. Are you sure? It’s a very simple test. Oh, that’s wonderful, wonderful. I’ve got some champagne in the fridge. Can’t stand the stuff myself. But you’ll have a glass and you’ll stay for dinner, Clara, it’s positive! I suppose you’ll be wanting to examine her. In due course. Women’s insides, I can never make head nor tail of them. One day Ted you’re going to have to draw me a diagram, and Clara . thank you. It’s yours of course. How can you tell? I’m sure it’s yours. I could easily get rid of it for you. Oh Charley would never allow that. Wouldn’t have to know. It’d be a miscarriage. No. I want a baby. Why? You’d better have a bath. Charley might smell me on you. Sir, I think it would be better if you travelled in the first car. Stand back. I think it would be best if you went aboard with us sir, security problem. It’s a dusty trip sir, the second car’s very uncomfortable. Well I think it’ll be satisfactory this time, just stay close behind. Thank you. The ambassador is in the silver cadillac, he is the passenger. Three security men in the black car. Kilometres . Oh blast! Right, hold tight ambassador. Army convoy coming. What? Army convoy. What the ‘s going on man? Holy . Get him! Hold his arse! Yes? The entertainment was a success, but we . I’m not interested, you have the wrong number. What?! You must come. I think he may be dying. Do the people here know what’s happening? No, they think we’re smugglers. Anyway these people are no friends of the police. The ambassador’s in a coma, I had to give him both shots. I told you to give him more than one. The needle broke. Look, he’s breathing very heavily. Well I suppose that’s preferable to not breathing at all. Oh my god! How is he? Oh he’s all right . the only problem is, he’s not the American ambassador. What? This is Charley Fortnum. What are you talking about? He’s the British consul, he’s not even a real consul, he’s an Honorary consul. But that’s impossible. Must have got the wrong measure. You’re s. How could you get this wrong? We didn’t get it wrong, we took him out of the passagers seat. So how did you get the wrong man? (spoken in dialect)

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