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Q Radio 107 FM
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It’s Oberlin. I always wished I’d gone to college. I know I’m not the traditional college applicant, but I am the perfect one. Why not? Here’s a pamphlet. A pamphlet? It looks like Helen Henry DeMarcus is going to college! Okay, so remember what we talked about, all right? I’m gonna say, “This is Sarika Sarkar. “She is our best student, a unique talent, and an even better human.” Then you hit them with. Oh, he’s just saying that ’cause teacher evaluations are this week. Yes, then we laugh for exactly two seconds. [BOTH LAUGHING] Then you crush some small talk, your app goes in the priority folder, and my manuscript ges it straight to Koontzville. Ready? Yeah. All right. Well, if it isn’t Nasty Jack Griffin. Kate. [LAUGHS] Bring it in, Nasty Jack. Okay. Oh, you smell good. Oh, well, um, I gotta go, but it was great to see you. And, uh, great seeing you, Sarika. Yeah, I. yep. [CLEARS THROAT] He’s just saying that ’cause teacher evaluations are this week. [LAUGHS] What the hell? Uh, yeah, sorry about that. Turns out I have a little bit of a sexual history with that particular recruiter. Yeah, she and I used to hook up all the time at Harvard. It’s a little awkward now, though, ’cause I’m kinda-sorta into somebody else a little, you know? That’s not something you guys need to know about. ALL: Lynette. We know. The beautiful, beautiful payroll lady. Knock, knock. Hey. I, uh, just wanted to let you know we’re headed to our hotel bar. Oh. You should pop by. It’ll be like old times. [CHUCKLES] I might even. [INDISTINCT WHISPERING] [BOTH GIGGLING] Uh, that’d be. that’d be interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Bye. So they really do whisper dirty things. [WHISTLES] Looks like you have a second chance. If you can get this in her priority folder. the deal is back on. Uh, I don’t think so, Sarika. Are you really gonna ruin your chances at publishing your book because of Lynette? A woman you kinda-sorta like? You’re gonna be stuck in Toledo. Forever. Fine, give me the application, all right? I’ll go do a little harmless flirting. But there will be no tequila and no banging. Do you hear me, Sarika? I will not bang that woman for you.

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