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Tempo FM
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ELLIE: Oh. ALICE: Hm. So you’re one of those girls. One of what? One of those Asian girls that only dates white guys. Oh, my God. No, I’m not. That’s insane. I -My ex was Asian. “Was”? Did he die? Yeah. I’d like to think that he did. Seems to me like you’re due for a white guy. Am I? It’s the Ping-Pong Effect. You always date the opposite of the person you just dated. Are Asians and whites opposite? Oh, my God. You’ll have to excuse my sister. She has a tendency to be racist. I just want to know if she’s smashing that hot guy in the pool. What, Ben? God, no. Why not? ‘Cause Ben doesn’t date people. He dates ideas. And trust me, I’m not his type of idea. Blah. Well, what is his type of idea? Why? Are you interested? I haven’t talked to him, but he’s cute. Well, I can totally hook that up. Oh, yeah? Yeah, for sure. (VOICE BREAKING) It has not been an easy ride. And I know that. And I know what I’ve put you through. And I know how I can be. I can be tough. But you’re always there. (WHISPERING) It’s so ing hot. PAUL: .always ready to catch me when I fall. Always my best friend. I need to pee. If we can just sit on the couch and eat Chinese food and watch “The Great British Bake Off” for the rest of our lives. I’m gonna make a run for it. No. Wait. Wait. Wait. I think we’re nearing the end. .because we’re gonna raise beautiful babies! He’s ing talking about babies. I’m literally gonna piss myself. Can you tell your girlfriend to keep it down? I’m sorry, but she’s literally gonna piss herself. And I’m not his girlfriend. That’s disgusting and presumptuous. May the blessings of life and the joy of love be your constant companion. You may now seal your union with a kiss. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Let’s go. Yes! Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Ah! Ben, this is Maggie. She’s into you, okay? Have fun. Don’t it up. Excuse me. Excuse me. That was. unexpected. Yeah. She does that. Uh, do you want to get a beer? Yeah. I’d love to. Maybe just let them finish up first. Of course. Yeah. Great job, guys. All right. (MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS) Everybody — Everybody, on your cups! Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!

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