Absolute Radio 00s

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cuckoo and they’d cut you a little slack when it comes to these behavioral issues. Well, I don’t believe in that. Detention. Two weeks. Get out of here. school bell rings Hey. Oh! Hi. I’m awake. I was just like a tree or a plant or something. I’m heading out for a moment. Don’t fall asleep or it adds another day. door opens, then closes “Rule one: The human whose name is written in this note shall die.” Whoa. “Rule two: This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person’s face in their mind when writing his or her name.” thunder rumbles gl shatters Ah! Hello? screaming Help! Help me! Help! Help! loud crashing screaming Holy ! Holy ! shrieks What the ?! whimpering male voice Shall we begin? Okay. Relax, Light. You’re asleep. You’re asleep and you’re dreaming of some eight-foot-tall, demon-looking motherer. creature Oh, yes. A dream. I like that. Dreams are places you can have fun, right? It’s all in your mind, so why not enjoy it? girl shrieks outside Shh. Listen. girl Get off of me! Go, check it out. girl shouts, whimpers boys chatter indistinctly, laughing girl No! Kenny Come on! Come on! boy What? girlKenny, no! Let me go! Get off me! You’re so disgusting! Get the off of me! Ooh! While you’re down there Aw, it sucks to be you. creature Now we could, in this dream of yours, take care of a situation like this. We just put Kenny’s name down and see what happens. whispers Yeah. purring hiss Nah. girl Get off! You’re such holes! creature I know you want to. Go on. Help her. I don’t have a pen. It’s a good thing you have a pen. creature inhales Ah Good. Now as long as we’re playing, let’s do it right. There’s no need to stop at “who.” I’m sorry. What else is there? How. For a beginner, not bad at all. Now watch. creature chuckles creature’s laughter echoes Give it back! speaking indistinctly Kenny laughs tires squeal Kenny shouts man shouts screaming Ah! shrieking creature cackles Now listen. I need to separate the wheat from the chaff. I think you might be capable of great things, but if you don’t think you can handle it, that’s fine. Just put the note somewhere, leave it alone for seven days, and I’ll find it a new home. How can this be possible? It happened. Just like that. And if this is possible, imagine what else you could do. thunder rumbles police sirens approaching crossing bell dinging dishes and furniture rattling He a friend of yours? Who? Kid in the accident. Oh. No, I don’t think he was a friend of anyone. Want to talk about it? No. We should talk about why you were still at school. Oh, yeah, that wasn’t a big deal. I just wrote a couple papers and then got detention. You don’t think cheating’s a big deal? That who you are? No, um Actually, I only got caught because I was trying to break up a Know what? Doesn’t matter. You wouldn’t understand anyway. Because you’re just that smart or I’m just that dumb? Because this is what you do. Instead of trying to solve real problems, you look over people’s shoulders so you can bust them for bull, like not turning in their reports or whatever. A gun is only good as its aim, son.



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