Pulse Christmas

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They may say they are, but they’re lying. [Lydia] And what do they want? They want to meet someone, get laid, and bring their boring lives a little excitement. It’s like going to a bar on a Friday night minus everything that sucks about a bar on a Friday night. Or maybe that’s what you want. Ever thought about that? Or were you just too busy thinking about yourself? Okay. You know what? You’re right. I screwed up, I admit it. Thank you! I screwed up by being a slave to my genitals and sleeping with the same lunatic twice against my better judgment. [Riley] Harris? Riley? I thought you said you were sick. Uh, how long have you been standing there? [Riley] Who’s Lydia? Okay, uh, you know what? We should step outside. How did you know where I was? Some girl named Lydia checked you in on Facebook. Who is she? Um, Lydia is my best friend’s girlfriend. Chuck, Lydia, this is Riley. Hey. Hi. So you’re not sick? Uh, I was feeling, but, you know, I kind of felt better Oh, God, just stop it, Harris. You think because I’m some lunatic you can lie to me and I’ll believe you? Heard that, huh? You said you liked me. Yeah, yeah, totally, you’re great. You don’t give a shit about me, do you? You just wanted to make your boring, little life a little more exciting, is that it? Or was it my life that was boring? Okay, can we just, can we just calm down? You think I’m just some toy you can have your way with and never call again, is that it? Whoa, just relax, all right? I never meant to hurt your feelings. Oh, I’m sure you didn’t. I’m sure you never thought about my feelings at all, did you? Did you, you piece of shit? You asshole. Riley! You can off and die, Harris. Way to go, Lydia. rock music Sorry. crickets chirping foreboding music woman shrieks maniacal laughter suspenseful music Hello? clattering If anybody’s in here, I’m calling the police. creaking Hello? [Riley] We were supposed to be together forever. Riley? If I can’t have you, no one can. screaming phone alarm ringing ominous music [Chuck] That’s why it’s good to have a good woman to go home to, you know? Someone who could rub your feet. [Harris] Oh, shut up. [Chuck] All right, man, I’ll see you. [Harris] Yeah, dude, my keys are in your pack. [Chuck] Oh, yeah. I guess you will be needing those. [Harris] I will be needing those. [Chuck] Keys. [Harris] Mm-hmm, thank you. [Chuck] So, I mean do you want this phone or [Harris] Ah, you can keep that, that’s fine. [Chuck] All right, man, I’ll see you. [Harris] All right, see you, man. You gotta be kidding me. [Chuck] What? [Harris] Riley, she’s still harassing me. She was texting me the whole time we were up hiking. [Chuck] Whoa, what she say? [Harris] I don’t know, man, I’m not gonna read ’em. I’m gonna delete ’em, gonna block her, and move on. [Chuck] Oh, no, no, no, come on, man. It’s not like you gotta respond. Hey, hey, I’m curious. Oh, you’re curious? Yeah. [Harris] Please, go right ahead. Have fun, just delete ’em when you’re done. [Chuck] This is like the highlight of my life. She says Bye. [Harris]



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